Friday, January 21, 2005

The Five Rules of Dating

According to ShaHayes

There are various publication list the things that men and women should heed to when dating so I thought I would list the five top do’s and don’t of dating that would offer as a good pocket guide for the singles. Check it out.

1.Stop trying to date out of your league. If you are on welfare and your favorite store is Rainbow….Hello stop thinking you are going to end up with the top wide receiver for the Redskins, ain’t going to happen. He might hit you off, but will you not be his out in the public, take to the awards dinner girl, ain’t going to happen. Go ahead and find you a man named Shaquan, who wears a wife beater every day, gets up every morning and smoke and J and still thinks the white man is holding him back kind of guy, cause that will happen for you.

2.Why pass up a one night stand just because you think he won’t respect you. Hello, Ladies, let me clarify this because I know I will get a lot of flack because people will think I am promoting sexual promiscuity. All I am saying is this, if you are into a guy and yall been kissing and rubbing and touching all night and you stop in the midst because you don’t want to take it too far…hello that does not matter. If a man is into you then his maturity will determine whether not he will respect you. Not only that, can you just get yours and stop concerning yourself with how you are going to look to Shaquan.

3. Aren’t you grown, can you stop playing I aint to call first game. Okay, you had a wonderful date; you two could not stop talking. Weeks later as those other hands books of dating suggest you waited 3 months before having intercourse. The next day you find yourself pulling back because you don’t want to be “pressed” or you want to see where that person head is because someone has told you that if they are not calling you every day that equals that are not into you. Now, I do believe that after intimacy with a person, if they are not reciprocating the calls, then he or she may not be that into you, however, you will never know if you don’t pick up the phone. If he or she puts you off, let it go the first time but thereafter if he or she does it again, don’t assume just ask, Wassup! If they give a casual “oh nothing I just got a lot of things on my mind and if he or she does not include you in that, then you need to get off the phone and roll through your rolodex and call on Tyrone or Tenika and ask if they trying to hook up.

4. Have Fun. Stop trying to turn every date into a potential mate. If every date you gone on you may have this itemized list of the qualities you want in a mate and if they don’t fit them you are one foot out the door and with that you may never meet that person who is right for you. First off most people when you meet them, you are not really meeting them, you are meeting their representative. You are meeting the person who puts on all the airs and tries to make their self like the good candidate. Let yourself enjoy the person before you start asking what his platform is about and where he stands on health care. Some people once you get passed that shield, may or may not make for a long time potential mate but rather end up being a good person who you may find that you enjoy their company. However, if you are ready to get married and you have your colors and children’s names picked out, then yes weed out those people who posses qualities that you could not deal with. But try not to be so strict with what you want because you may miss out on that person who could be a potential mate.

5. The excuse there ain’t enough good black men or women is OVER. Guess who’s coming to dinner. Jesus, Valentino, Paulie or Maria, Becky, and Magada. There was a point in my life that I said I would never date out of my race and I was disgusted with any man or women but especially with men who did. Now that I am older, I realize that view is nothing but a narrow minded aspect of living. If it is Jesus or Becky who is going to make me you happy, then go for it. Life is too short to stay in a box that society…yes I am blaming society, but the reality is we believe that it is just our race who we are suppose to be with because we feel that a similar race is the one group who identifies with who we are as individuals. I remember I was talking with a friend joking with her about dating white men and she said to me, she thought about it, but it is hard for her to date someone who acts differently and likes different things then her. And I told her she would be constantly in search of happiness because she has such a narrow minded view on relationships. I am not saying that everyone should want to date outside their race and the only way to be happy is to date outside, all I want to convey is to stay open to the possibility because you never know who can make you happy.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

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March 6, 2007 at 5:57 AM  
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March 15, 2007 at 1:41 PM  

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